My Birthday!

Today I had a beautiful Birthday! I spent it with two of my dearest friends and my mother. We went to Troy MI to a beautiful Mall. It was sooo good to be with two kindred spirits. I prayed for God to give me snow and guess what!?! He did! One of my friends even took off work at the last minute to be with me.
This week I was kinda sad because I didn't feel like I had a little 'club' to hang out with anymore and then God gives me a day like today! I feel so special. He heard my heart and responded. He is such a sweet and kind God. I love Him dearly.


On to other breaking news. I am no longer going to be blogging on here anymore. My dad found my little space and so now I have to abandon this page. I will be starting a new blog though. Those of you who read this and have my e/m, write to me and I will give you my new site addy. Those of you who do not have my addy. Sorry you are out of luck, unless you know a friend of mine who can give you my new web address you won't be hearing my ramblings. I feel like I should stop while I'm ahead anyway. If you google me, you will find that my blog comes up third on the list. I'm a little famous now.....just let me think that okay. So good bye to Adrienne's Incoherent Ramblings, you served your purpose up until dad found this page.










You were suppose to be with me today.

I wish I was assexual!

I wish that I did not have romanitic tendancies or emotions. I just do not want to feel anymore, I don't want to crave what does not exist in my life at this point in time and has not existed for quite a long time. I have been wondering if people born with down syndrome or some sort of mental delay have romantic inclinations? I think it would be so much easier in life to not feel romantic love, to be void of my emotional side.
The euphoria of younge love is such a draw for me, to have a break from my mundane life would be great! I'm a passionate person and so I have a desire to be with someone I can 'share life with'. To tell all my fears and secrets to, essentially I want a best friend.

Why this rant on romance? Dad had another talk with me about going to some singles groups. He thinks I need to be more deliberate about seeking someone out. This kind of seems forced!?! Isn't love suppose to be spontanious? Won't God bring someone into my life of interest at the right time? I have found in the past that if I force something before its time that I do not succeed. Isn't that the case with love as well? I can send out the right come hither signals but if it isn't right then God won't let it come into fruition. Whether I get scared and run or the other person moves away, gets to clingy, or just isn't that interested(ing). It seems like nothing has felt 'right' except for one guy, one pretty amazing guy who went cold on me. One day I'll tell you about him, you'll have to wait though because he plays a part in this blog.

Song Playing Right Now: Juliana Theory's 'Deadbeat Sweatheartbeat' *It reflects my mood right now.

Recurring Dream and a Sliver Under my Skin!

I have a recurring dream where I am pregnant but I'm not just pregnant, I'm pregnant out of wed-lock. In fact I'm not even in a relationship. Instead of joy I find myself in despair, seeing all of my freedom and dreams going down the tube because I'll be stuck with a baby. This dream is so vivid sometimes that even when I'm awake it takes me a couple moments to come to. I want to have kids one day but if I have them I want to do it right. I guess now I have a sense of what some women feel like and why they would want to terminate the baby inside. In one of my dreams I actually thought about getting an abortion. Oh man my dreams can be pretty vivid at times.

Urrrrghhhh I have a co-worker at work who just gets under my skin all the time! It seems that every little error I do is a cause for a hissy fit, she has no grace or mercy towards me! It is as though I am intentionally trying to do the wrong thing all the time. I'm the type of person who tries to do the right thing and the best thing all the time. When I screw up I admit it and I try to make things right. I'm frustrated and hurt. Sometimes I wonder if God is trying to teach me a lesson about grace. Maybe in the past I have not been gracious towards others and he wants me to feel what it is like. Kinda of like a type of bad Karma. God I'm sorry, if I have been ungracious, please forgive me but I don't know how much more I can take of this women! She makes me feel inadequate all the time! Maybe this is a way of pushing me to leave???? Or maybe this is a test???? I don't know I'm confused and guilt ridden.