I wish I was assexual!
I wish that I did not have romanitic tendancies or emotions. I just do not want to feel anymore, I don't want to crave what does not exist in my life at this point in time and has not existed for quite a long time. I have been wondering if people born with down syndrome or some sort of mental delay have romantic inclinations? I think it would be so much easier in life to not feel romantic love, to be void of my emotional side.
The euphoria of younge love is such a draw for me, to have a break from my mundane life would be great! I'm a passionate person and so I have a desire to be with someone I can 'share life with'. To tell all my fears and secrets to, essentially I want a best friend.
Why this rant on romance? Dad had another talk with me about going to some singles groups. He thinks I need to be more deliberate about seeking someone out. This kind of seems forced!?! Isn't love suppose to be spontanious? Won't God bring someone into my life of interest at the right time? I have found in the past that if I force something before its time that I do not succeed. Isn't that the case with love as well? I can send out the right come hither signals but if it isn't right then God won't let it come into fruition. Whether I get scared and run or the other person moves away, gets to clingy, or just isn't that interested(ing). It seems like nothing has felt 'right' except for one guy, one pretty amazing guy who went cold on me. One day I'll tell you about him, you'll have to wait though because he plays a part in this blog.
Song Playing Right Now: Juliana Theory's 'Deadbeat Sweatheartbeat' *It reflects my mood right now.
posted by Adrienne at
2:54 PM
3 Comments:
I would highly recommend the book Understanding God's Will by a guy named Kyle Lake.
In it he talks about how we can't always expect God to drop things in our lap... and that even when God opens a door for us we can't always expect God's will to be the path of least resistance.
It should be noted that God does not call all of us to be married. That is a cliched answer and I say it just because I think its important to think about not because I think you'll be some crazy cat lady someday. :)
I also think there is a difference between Love and being 'in love'. Being in Love is fun but its not the same thing.
Have you thought much about a change of scenery? How many good Christian guys can there be in Sarnia??
As for the "Whether I get scared and run or the other person moves away, gets to clingy, or just isn't that interested(ing)" I think that these are all good things... While I think marriage can be made to work between to Spirit Filled Christians, its a good idea to marry someone who is a good match for you. If your feelings of being in Love are wearing out while you're still dating, thats probably a good thing: Its stopping you from marrying someone you might not want to marry.
So that was a lot of rambling... hopefully my responces didn't seem to preachy or like I was talking down to you... but rather gave you stuff to think about...
- Mike
11:43 PM
isn't this why you have a blog? So you can ramble and talk about your secrets with? Who needs a man when you have a blogger.
9:01 PM
People who are asexual sometimes long for intimacy, only in a way that doesn't involve sexual contact.
They still feel lonely, want to be appreciated or look attractive.
Or that's how I see things. I can only classify myself as asexual because I've never met anyone, ever, who I would feel comfortable sleeping with.
Maybe that will change if the right person walks into my life, but I'm doubtful.
Regardless, don't feel pressured to be in a relationship. If it happens, it will happen. Instead of thinking and feeling like you "need" someone, just be yourself. Get a perspective on what you truly need. Maybe it's a comforting place to express yourself, something spiritual, or a friend you can trust. Inserting a partner will not bring these things, and can often add to the stress unless you're prepared for it.
I wish you luck. Remember, if God wanted you to settle down, it will happen. Don't build up your whole life preparing for that, though. Because perhaps there's other plans for the future. You lose the now if you try to see the later.
Good luck.
12:29 AM
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