I feel alone!

Whats happened to me? I use to have so many friends and now.....I feel like I don't have any!
They all live far away or are wrapped up in they're own lives. I want to call people but I am always afraid they have already made plans and that they will tell me they are busy. I hate rejection!
I use to be so social and now I would rather stay home and watch a movie. Its partly that I don't have any money to go out. Or the wrong people ask me to hang out. Why can't I find people I really enjoy going out with? Why can't I live in Toronto? Why can't I have community again? Why can't I have those goofy guy friends who always made me laugh? Why God Why? I just want to belong and yet I know I am in the place you want me to be. You want me to hang onto you for my security. You want me to run to you.
God yes you are good but I need physical arms around me. I need a human voice to tell me I am loved. Not just anyone though, a dear kind and good friend. But where are they? London, Toronto, Kingston, Guelph, Out West, Sarnia, in a lovers bed, or out with a lover. Where am I? I am left behind writting to the air, flitting my time away on something two people will read. A cold sense of security.
Fuck You!
Yes I'm mad! I'm mad at you! I'm mad at the uncertantity you have given me. The life I lead is unfulfilling. I feel no purpose! I feel that people look down on me or is that my own projection and so what I project people begin to believe as well?
God fill me! Fill me again for I lack joy and love.
Come close to me and make yourself known to me. Gently breath on me "won't you come like the wind?"
I feel alone