My old friend depression

has returned for a repeat visit just in time for the dreariness of winter. Last night was a rough night I cried angry tears in bed and was taunted by demons about how I didn't measure up. I didn't realize it was them at first and then later I heard the faint whispers in my door way.
My head is filled with shouts of 'I hate you' and I'm not sure who I am directing them at. I'm angry! Angry at myself, angry at my hopeless situation.
Depression drowns me and no one wants to be around a depressed person because like a drowning person they will just take the other person down as they thrash around in the water gasping for air. So not only will depression console me but so will my other friend lonliness.

On another note yet another musician I find and love turns out to be dead. First Jeff Buckley and now Elliot Smith. I found Elliot on Pandora, it turns out he has been dead for three years! Such an amazing voice and beautiful melodic compositions lost to a stabbing incident, still under investigation to decide whether or not it was suicide or murder.

So pray for light in my life.